I guess digging in the dumpster for leftovers and rotting bodies isn't the ideal place for me to be searching for the best out there. I guess I just feel like, whenever I go into a gold mine, the prizes are already reserved for a girl more deserving than I and all I feel is heartbreak and longing to be the princess to meet her prince. But I guess I feel I have better luck searching the castle grounds for the scrap and street rat that I might be able to dress up and at least pretend he's some sort of prince. That's better than nothing, right?

Come here little rat, let me make you my prince. Let me put a top hat on your lice infested head and a suit on your manging body. Let's tie a ring to your tail and put shoes on your paws. I've even attached stilts to your feet so you may be as tall as me. I know you're just a rat, but you're almost human enough to kiss, touch, and make love to- I love you my little rat prince. Let's be happy forever.